An Instant Christmas Classic

Dear Uncle Barky,

Good day, good sir. My name is Alibaster Abthernabther. I am a best selling author, yacht racer, hot air balloon enthusiast, Christmas nymph, and shameless television addict.

I noticed that you listed a certain television program in your November 16th "TV Bulletin Board" but have not seen a mention of it since. I could not let another nanosecond pass without urging you to promote this show at length on your Internet web log tout de suite. It is a small production; a Christmas spin-off of an often overlooked indie film that garnered much critical praise but little box office draw and it needs all the help it can get to attract viewers. I’ll spare you continued suspense and simply let an understated press blurb do the talking for me:

"Just when Shrek (Mike Myers) thought he could finally sit back and relax with his new family, when the joyous of all holidays arrives. It's Christmas Eve and everyone's full of holiday cheer...except for Shrek. He isn't exactly the picture of holiday joy, but for the sake of Fiona (Cameron Diaz) and the kids, he tries to get in the spirit as only an ogre can. Unfortunately, everyone seems to have their own ideas about what Christmas is really all about, so when Donkey (Eddie Murphy), Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas), Gingy (Conrad Vernon), and the whole gang try to join in on the fun, Shrek's plans for a cozy family celebration end up spiraling into one truly unforgettable Christmas."

I absolutely cannot wait!!! Please relay to your loyal readership that this program will be airing soon. I really think the people at ABC Television/Disney/Buena Vista/DreamWorks did not do enough to promote it on air. Nonetheless, Shrek the Halls is sure to become, as one reviewer so aptly described, an “instant holiday classic.” This, despite the fact that it is patently impossible for something to be both “instant” and “classic.”

Yours,
Alibaster Abthernabther