Your Dream Police They Live Inside of Your Head, DMN
Dear Dallas Morning News,
I am writing in response to today's article about what your "news" paper obviously perceives to be the Dallas Police Department's unwillingness to assist family members of a severely beaten school teacher.
I remind you that the city of Dallas is rife with minor traffic violators that need to be formally cited and Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Lattes that need to be consumed. If our Brave Boys in Blue aren't going to tend to these pressing atrocities then who will? You can't expect them to take time and resources away from filling meaningless quotas and ticketing jaywalkers at the Pearl Street DART Rail Station to thoroughly investigate a brutal, senseless crime. If you do expect such unrealistic service then you should also expect the department’s already strained workforce to be pushed to the breaking point, inevitably resulting in some real wrath of God stuff! Forty years of torment, earthquakes, tidal waves, the dead rising from the grave, world destruction, human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together: mass hysteria!!!
Yours,
Alibaster Abthernabther
I am writing in response to today's article about what your "news" paper obviously perceives to be the Dallas Police Department's unwillingness to assist family members of a severely beaten school teacher.
I remind you that the city of Dallas is rife with minor traffic violators that need to be formally cited and Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Lattes that need to be consumed. If our Brave Boys in Blue aren't going to tend to these pressing atrocities then who will? You can't expect them to take time and resources away from filling meaningless quotas and ticketing jaywalkers at the Pearl Street DART Rail Station to thoroughly investigate a brutal, senseless crime. If you do expect such unrealistic service then you should also expect the department’s already strained workforce to be pushed to the breaking point, inevitably resulting in some real wrath of God stuff! Forty years of torment, earthquakes, tidal waves, the dead rising from the grave, world destruction, human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together: mass hysteria!!!
Yours,
Alibaster Abthernabther