Wednesday, November 28, 2007

I-Like-A-Look-A-Likes

Dear Dallas Look-A-Likes,

Good evening. My name is Alibaster Abthernabther. I am a best selling author, yacht racer, hot air balloon enthusiast, peniaphobic and unashamed lover of celebrity impersonators.

As you may know, I am on the cusp of making a very important announcement that will change the world forever. Once this announcement is made I will need to throw an enormous celebratory soiree. For this I will require an assortment of your superstar doppelgangers.

I would like to order one Jonathan Lipnicki, an Alan Alda, an overweight Jay Leno, the cast of Caddyshack, both Austin Powers I and Austin Powers II, and the lady from The Weakest Link.

Now I must address a rather troubling matter. I do not see in your list of cover bands any mention of an Ace of Base tribute act. This saddens me deeply. So in lieu of a suitable tribute band, I will have to request the services of the Gyro String Quartet to play a selection of Ace of Base’s greatest hits, namely “The Sign (Extended MegaHouse Mix),” “All That She Wants,” “The Sign (DJ Dirtee Deez Nutz Chop & Skrew Remix),” “Don’t Turn Around,” “The Sign (EuroClub Mix)," “Beautiful Life” and, of course, “The Sign.”

Yours,

Alibaster Abthernabther